Map the costs, protect the paycheck. This quiet planner walks through the money side of losing someone — the unpaid days, the travel, the service — one calm step at a time.
If you're here, you've likely just lost someone. We're sorry. Take your time with this — nothing here is urgent, and every number can be changed. The figures below start with a worked example so you can see how the plan fits together; swap in your own as you're ready.
What a day of work is worth to you, and how much of your time away is covered.
What actually lands in your account for one shift, after taxes.
Many employers offer 1–5 days for an immediate family member. If you're not sure, pick 0 — we'll plan for the harder case.
Travel, the service, family time, paperwork. Be honest — underestimating is what creates the scramble later.
The money that has to go out in the next week or two. Rough numbers are fine.
Flights, gas, tolls, a hotel night or two, food on the road.
Only your portion — not the whole bill, if family is splitting it.
Death certificates, flowers, an outfit for the service, pet or house sitting.
Checking + savings you could use this week without borrowing. This is your cushion.
Here's what the absence actually costs, and a gentle pace for closing the gap — from future paychecks, not a loan.
Enter your numbers above and this will show how safely your reserves absorb the absence — without high-interest debt.
Three paths, matched to the size of the gap. Yours is highlighted — the others stay here in case the numbers change.
Fits when the deficit is over $1,000 — especially with no paid bereavement days.
Before you borrow anything, ask. Many employers can grant extra PTO, advance a paycheck, or flex your schedule — but only if someone asks, in writing, while it's still early. This memo keeps it short and professional:
Fits when the deficit is roughly $300–$1,000.
Cover the two things that can't wait — getting there, and the service. Then call the bills that can wait and move them, before they bounce and add fees:
Fits when the deficit is under $300 — or fully covered.
You're in steadier shape. Two quiet moves protect that:
Screenshot-ready summary
Your whole plan on one card. Screenshot it, send it to family, or keep it next to the paperwork.
Emergencies are why buffers exist — the $1,000 Emergency Fund Starter Pack and Blue-Collar Buffer Binder on Gumroad help you build one before the next hard week, not during it.
See the buffer buildersGenerally, no — there's no federal law requiring private-sector employers to provide bereavement leave, paid or unpaid. A handful of states do require a few days of unpaid bereavement leave, and many employers offer paid days as a policy benefit even when the law doesn't require it. Your employee handbook is the fastest answer; your state's labor department website is the second.
Ask early, ask in writing, and make it specific: the dates you need, what you've arranged to cover your shifts, and when you'll be back. Unpaid leave, PTO, a paycheck advance, or swapped shifts are all easier for a manager to approve than a vague "I need more time." The memo in Tier 1 above is written to do exactly this — copy it and adjust the details.
Don't take a payday loan or title loan for funeral costs. Their fees routinely equal 300%+ APR, and the balance will still be there long after the grief is fresh. Also avoid putting the full funeral bill on a high-interest card in your name alone before family cost-sharing is settled, and don't sign a funeral contract under pressure the same day — prices and packages can almost always wait 24 hours while you compare.